I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
How naked do you want me to be?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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