Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize