But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
