Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
