Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
