i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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