The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
