We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
