I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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