so explain again why im purple
no
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
