I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
