Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
