S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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