you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
