Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
