im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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