Where is the hickey?
love makes seman taste better
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
