whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
