Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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