but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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