Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
