They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
