We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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