Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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