I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
