This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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