I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
you would pick up someone in the library
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
