piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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