so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
