I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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