She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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