What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
