I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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