I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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