If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
