Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
