man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize