Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
