the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
