SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
she pinky promised me she was 18
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
