I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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