I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
