Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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