they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
