I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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