are you so shy because you have an std?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
