I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
