dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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