How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
