Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
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