when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize