I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
our cab driver is having phone sex.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
