i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My feet surprised me
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