i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize