I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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