No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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