Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
