So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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