just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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