Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
