Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
