I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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