I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
