girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
