cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
