An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Randomize
