please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
