take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
